Some past RICHARDS: ****************** THE TOP 10 REASONS TO SEE MOBIUS REHEARSE: 10) You can drink Chet's pepsi if you're careful. 9) Basements are cool...huh-huh I said "base" 8) You can tickle W when he isn't looking. 7) Mistakes - an abundant source of humor. 6) You think you can sing better than _THAT_! 5) We play BEFORE midnight. 4) Ira will let you touch his beard. 3) You can hide behind the furnace if you get scared. 2) Earplugs are our friends. and the number one reason........... 1) Of course, it's FRRREEEE! ****************** Well, where there's ying, there's yang. Mobius serves to balance the opposing universal forces in eternal struggle. In other words... Top 10 Reasons NOT to Visit Mobius Rehearsals: 10) "Drumsticks are flying everywhere! Oh, the humanity!" 9) Repetition is very good. 8) Amplifiers are our friends. 7) We like "Cujo" a little _too_ much. 6) Rhyparography not included. 5) Two words: "projectile spitting." 4) Repetition is very good. 3) "Hey, where's the other guy?!?" 2) You listen to Q102 ("your favorite hits w/o the hard rock or rap") with orgiastic pleasure. and the number 1 reason _not_ to visit a Mobius rehearsal.... 1) After only a couple of minutes, you can't keep your hands off yourself. ****************** Behold, the darkness approaches. The earth shall tremble and the seas boil. The meek shall be trampled into the dust, and the spirits of the dead shall quake, for Mobius rises from the ashes. This Saturday mark your calendars in blood red for the time of repentance is nigh. Those Mobii lurking in the shadows will arise for the impending sonic slaughter, an orgy of splendor and lust. Deliverance arrives at The Continental on July 13 when the devout shall be redeemed and the infidels will rue the resurgence of ...... M O B I U S ****************** Hello. It has come to my attention that certain people (yes, I know who you are) are hesitant about attending Mobius shows at The Continental due to the _supposed_ scary nature of this entertainment establishment. In order to dispell any such notions, here's the dirt - what ACTUALLY happens there: =============================================================================== Events and Perpetrators: Occurrences: ======================== =============== Serious stuff: Murders 0 Stabbings 0 Rapes 0 Beatings 0 Strange but Harmless stuff: Homeless people living outside 0 (they moved up north to Chippewaw) Thefts 2 (Nate's cig. lighter absconded! and "Oh my god, they [the lesbians] ate the last slice of pizza!") Attacks by Dancing Lesbians 1 (but they're history now) Sensitive Hugging Biker Guys 1 ("I love you guys!" ) Living Legends 1 ("You don't know who I am? Let me give you my autograph." ) Alluring Goth Chicks about 10/show ("Give me a poster for the women's room.") Lascivious drunk women who 2 ("Are you that 1st band?" and "No, I WANTED to sleep with Mobius don wanna go-I wanna go with themmm!") Lascivious drunk women who 0 HAVE SLEPT with Mobius Hecklers 2 ("Play some Slayer!", "Assless pants!") Know-it-alls 1 ("You would rule if you played slower!") Scouting Agents 1 ("Would you join our band, Ira?") Saviors of Mobius 5 ("I should play guitar for you - it would sound MUCH better.") Wannabees 10 ("Yeah, I play stuff like that ALL the time in my band - in fact, could you get us some shows?") Interpretive Upstairs Dancers 100/show (seeing is believing) =============================================================================== Well, there you have it. The Continental is certainly eclectic, but a rather safe and cool place. (No one's going to attack you, Liz, especially since Industry of Life Divine is kaput ;-) Don't forget: while other Buffalo clubs come and go, The Continental remains. <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> Top Ten Reasons to Stay Out Late to See Mobius *********************************************** 10). It's too dark to see the crud in the street. 9). "Natural light! Get it off me...GET IT OFF ME!" 8). Plenty of sidestreet parking. 7). If anything, Mobius will keep you awake. 6). It's this or "Dial-a-Date" infomercials. 5). Your parent's/housemate's bed is on the other of the wall behind _your_ bed. 4). It's harder for bouncers to see your fake ID at night. 3). The goth-chicks only come out when the sun goes down. 2). 1 AM is for wimps: we used to play at *3* AM. And the number one reason to see Mobius Thursday night..... 1). Who the hell wants to work Friday, anyway? Better attend, or we'll eat W's cat ;-) Ira <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> Due to Wrath of God inclement weather, the Great Flood swept up the mighty waters of The Commons fountain. The Lords of The Merchant's Guild of the Mighty Fortress of Capitalism, The Commons, deemed that MOBIUS must abstain from performance for fear of profaning the gods of storms. Sadly, MOBIUS could not assuage their fearsome ways with promises of songs of glory and retribution. Perhaps MOBIUS will strike in fear in the hearts of the Capitalists another day. Antediluvian days are gone: MOBIUS forges ahead. <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> Hail Mobii! Hark, the time approaches...our forthcoming tapes are now... uh...forthcoming. We spent another weekend with The Great One, A.L.Somlo, singing, growling, and shouting our hearts out for the recordings. Al is now mixing the songs and is doing a marvelous job. Al has to spend much time translating what we want into actual effects: What Ira said: "I want this song with alternating backwards gaiting mixed with a tinge of flange and delay." What Al does: adds reverb What W said: "I want these songs with a 'standard effect.'" What Al does: adds reverb What JC said: "Al, don't touch this, it's fine." What Al does: adds reverb ;-) <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> TOP 10 REJECTED ALBUM NAMES *************************** 10) Viscous Eruptive Repugnant Pustules 9) Swine of Satan 8) Those Darn Dirigibles 7) Hail to the Battle Hymns of Metal Kings that Triumph by Fighting with Steel 6) Meat the Beetles 5) Swapping Vomit 4) Chunky, but Loose 3) Poop Soup 2) Anal Attitude And the number one reject is..... 1) Warm Fuzzy Feelings <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> Top 10 reasons to buy a MOBIUS album ************************************ 10) Mobius rocks your world. 9) Biohazard and Pantera loved their copy. 8) We didn't call the tape "Poop Soup" or "Swapping Vomit." 7) CD's are a mass-media conspiracy led by the "men in black." 6) There's a couple minutes of blank space on each side to record your _own_ Mobius tunes. 5) It's this or the discount-Debby-Gibson-bin. 4) You wish to invest in the "Bank of Mobius" and you love the customer gift. 3) So what the hell are we singing, anyway? (free lyrics in every tape) 2) The voices told you to....What? Who said that? and the number one reason why you want to buy our album is.... 1) You want to be part of the Happy Club. <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> Top Ten Reasons To See Mobius This Saturday ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10) You missed the already-legendary November 16th show and want to see why 75 people kicked up such a fuss. 9) You knocked your head into the wall rather forcefully following the Bills' loss to the Colts, and you can't remember WHY you were told NOT to see us. 8) Your dirty laundry can wait until Sunday. 7) The five bucks you spend on the 60-minute album NOW will pay off in SPADES when the band has signed a major label, contracted every venereal disease known to man, split up in a fight over Pamela Anderson, and all OD'd on heroin, thus cementing our lasting legacy in the rock world! (and that's just the schedule through next September!...) 6) You hate the weather and figure a couple 1-dollar Buds will warm you up *just* nicely... 5) The dirty laundry has actually got up, left your room, absconded with all your major credit cards, and the police do not expect to catch it until some time Monday afternoon. 4) You've never actually SEEN a prog-metal-thrash-core-dance-rap-blues band before. 3) It beats beating yourself. 2) The Simpson trial is off for the weekend, leaving you with a strange empty feeling inside... And the #1 reason to go see MOBIUS this Saturday at the CONTINENTAL: 1) The dirty laundry is actually 21 and wants IN!!! <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> Top 10 Reasons to Visit us at The Mercury Theater ************************************************* 10) The bathrooms are so clean you can drink the toilet water. 9) You want an autographed Mobius poster...there's plenty to go around. 8) American Brass? huh-huh...we play heavy metal...huh-huh 7) The black decor is so...uh...black. 6) Free napkins and sizzle sticks! Cheap beer! (Free, if you drink your buddy's when he/she isn't watching.) 5) Dan appreciates his customers: quality is job #1! 4) One word: FOOZBALL. 3) You can actually hear the words being sung - well, maybe that isn't so good. 2) Plenty of free "Smash"'s to go around. and the number one reason is.... 1) Mobius says so. <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> The Top 10 Reasons to Brave the Cold to See Mobius ************************************************** 10) Warm, fuzzy hugs from band members are free. 9) Hugs are especially encouraged from the non-male gender. 9a) (especially if they're crazy enough to come bikini clad) 8) Moshing works up a sweat. 8a) If that fails, try break-dancing. 7) The hell with "Coat Check" - keep your 75 cents! 7a) Better yet, "borrow" some other coats when the "check girl" ain't lookin'. 6) Plaster yourself with an endless supply of Mobius fliers. 6a) Or sneak into the women's room and swipe rolls of toilet paper. 5) The "dancing lesbians" might return with only one thing on their minds.... 5a) Hell, they might even loan you their clothes! 4) Guard Mobius from groupies and earn a special place under the spotlights. 3) Two words: air guitar. 2) Play "bowling for interpretive dancers" upstairs with marbles.... and the number one reason to brave the cold to see Mobius is..... 1) The cold plays havoc with nipples. <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> In other news: ============= I might use a modified quote for our sig file soon...ever hear about the "90% rule"? Well, just about 90% of everything is crap. The news is Mobius is the other 10%. [Hear that FLAVIR?] Why can we make such grandiose claims? Because I haven't told anyone about our first major tape review by none other than PAGE HAMILTON, famous guitarist and vocalist of the world-reknown band HELMET. Remember that tape I gave to Biohazard a few months ago? Well, guess who got a copy.... It's no B.S. - after independent checks we determined the real PH emailed me, Ira, about Syracuse Sessions Vol. I, which we have _yet_ to read reviews about anywhere in Buffalo. What does Page have to say? Here's a snippet: ********* [PORTION OF EMAIL] "Dear Mobius member: I recently bumped into (former) Helmet guitarist, Rob (Echevarria - who now plays with Biohazard), and he said, "you gotta check this tape out." He put the "Mobius" tape in his stereo, and I listened to it. The reason he wanted me to hear the tape was because of (his claim) "a Helmet similarity." Well, I heard the similarities, but would like to commend the music...." ********* Want more? I'm currently asking Page if I can reproduce his email in entirety. (For those netiquette-challenged, usually one doesn't forward or post entire email messages without prior consent.) He goes on to complement the musicianship, singing, and the song structure. He wasn't too thrilled with the mix, but hey, all we had was a four-track. (Please do not ask me for his email address: he wishes to keep it private.) We intend to spend the $ for a full-fledged studio recording with CD soon. So, as far we're concerned we are that other "10%". So where's our interviews Buffalo? As The Continental says in its ads, "it's time to cut the crap, _starting now_." Hubris it ain't...it's the truth. for MOBIUS, Ira <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> The Top 10 (Main Categories) Of Things _Not_ Different About Mobius ******************************************************************* 10. Ira's hair is still long. 10a. Well, maybe not _as_ long, but still long enough to get in his food and gross everyone out. 9. Our feet smell just as bad. 9a. But not as bad as some other body parts I need not mention. 8. We still don't get the drunk chicks to perform physical and oral favors. 8a. You know, like carrying equipment, washing Ira's truck, and engaging in stimulating conversation. What were _you_ thinking of? 7. Chet's amp still sucks. 7a. Well, only Dan thinks it does - we just think it needs to be mic'ed better ;-) 7b. Actually, it does make this annoying whine, but we play so damned loud it's not like anyone notices. 7c. Well, I notice, but I ain't gonna buy Chet a new amp. I'll just smash everything harder. 6. Nate still has left the band. 6a. But we miss him 'cause he's so *darn* cute when he growls ;-) 5. Mobius means three words: *in* *yo'* *face* 5a. You don't have to swallow...any pretension - you just sit back, and watch it explode in front of your eyes, and suck...in the rapture as Mobius comes...together in musical harmony. 5b. huh-huh-huh I said "it" uh-huh-huh-uh-huh 4. Page Hamilton still likes us. 4a. Yep, we wear that Helmet comparison like a badge of honor. 4b. Though sometimes it seems like an albatross about our necks. 4c. Sometimes when we're hungry, it becomes a huge pepperoni pizza with double cheese. 4d. Wait a minute, what I talking about again? 4e. Oh yeah...Nate performing oral favors on Chet's amp with a giant pizza. 3. Al still hasn't finished our god-forsaken tapes! 3a. But he did make a great new Mobius web site http://www.yrbook.com/mobius 3b. I guess that counts as a "change" - so sue me. 2. The Bus of Death is coming for you ... and you ... and YOU. 2a. We all ride the Bus of Death together. 2b. Now what the hell is Ira blathering about - it sounds like some demented Doors cover tune. 2c. Actually, everyone would get the joke if we could only finish those infernal tapes. 2d. You see, it was our master plan to record all this music and then never distribute any so that we could ensure all our buried subliminal messages will never cause mass hysteria on the populace. 2e. Better yet, why bother handing tapes out when Chet is perfectly willing to hum any song for you on the phone? Call 716-837-0723 for a good time. and the number one item unchanged about Mobius.... 1. We're broke. <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> What's the big Mobius mystery? Well..... Yes, Mobius had a great show last night, especially considering half the band is new. Yes, we've had some member changes lately. Both W and Scott left the band to pursue other directions...we are now working with Mike, formerly of Kindergarden, and Sam, formerly of no band in particular. Mike floored the audience with his amazing bass playing - even though he still doesn't some song titles! (He's learned everything in a matter of a few weeks.) We took the stage on time and hit the ground running with a new song, "Strip Me" with Chet on vocals. Actually Chet covered most of the singing all night long with flying colors. We got Sam, our new vocalist, on stage for his first ever performance for a couple of tunes, and I rounded out the vox with a rousing rendition of "Rude". In fact, we have now begun moving beyond "Nate-days" - though we'll occasionally throw in a few Mobius "classics", we're exploring new territory all the while maintaining the power, intensity, and groove that Mobius has come to represent. While we could rest on our laurels, we constantly challenge ourselves towards greater greatness. Missed the show? Well, you are missing out on Buffalo's greatest band. We'll be taking a break to write new material all throughout April - you'll be able to catch us in early May for the WNY Music fest. Until next time, greatly, Ira <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> yo...some people actually got my message about the surprise Saturday show two days ago. We had a nice little turn-out that would have been a bit larger if we didn't have to start so early (daylight savings pushed us back.) (Remember that "opening" sometimes means more like 11:30 PM....) Anyway, MOBIUS got a chance to wow some unexpecting Continentalites, and we got a decent response. Not bad for an unnanounced show. Lot's of little surprises - I ran into a former bandmate from 1993 when I was in "Tempting Sanity" - his newest project, Sugartooth (?) (well, Sugar-something), is floating about - he was going around telling everyone I used to be his drummer and how great I am :-) We also had a pleasant surprise from former bandmates, Scott and W, who "guested" on vocals and did some amazing slam dancing (look for a special W-surprise on stage coming soon), someone who writhed on the stage, a sing-a-long with Ira for "Happy Birthday" to Jesse the bouncer, and my ex-girlfriend who showed up late. (We do find it ironic that only ex-girlfriends like to see the band - current girlfriends have disavowed themselves...now why is that? Hey, if it's a choice between dating me and seeing Mobius, the hell with sex...I want your money! I'll let Chet speak for himself... ;-) All around, a fun evening with Mobius. Again, thanks to all who showed up, even if they were late - we know it's tough to predict when we're going to be on (hell, we almost went on last) - best policy is to usually arrive at 11:30 PM. Until our next planned show or next surprise, unfortunately celibate, Ira <<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> Yo MOBII...time for the latest in Mobius news! We have a bunch of shows lined up for you in May - we've been working hard on new material, and we are anxious to show ourselves off because we rule. [Hubris? Nah... ;-)] Shows: ****** #1: We're playing in the Western New York Music Festival at The Continental on May 4. Yep, that's SUNDAY at 8PM! (212 Franklin St.) #2: We've hooked up with Cadense and a couple of other bands for a show at the VFW for an evening of mayhem on Friday, May 16. We'll open the show at 8PM followed by Vent, Cadense, and Hookatube. Please purchase a ticket from any band member ahead of time...we're selling them for $5. Door price is $7. The show is all ages, and you can drink yourself into a stupor if you have proper ID. Yes, another early show! Where's the VFW? J.B. Weber VFW Post 898, 2909 South Park Ave, Lackawanna, NY Call or email me (Ira) or Chet for tickets. Yes, you _will_ buy a ticket, or the llama gets it. #3: We return to The Continental on May 23 with Cabalyst and Cadense. This may be the heaviest show ever at The Continental. Show starts at 8PM. This is a Friday show, so 18 and over are admitted. We have even more shows lined up.....more news soon. Albums: ******* Yes, the mighty Al and Ira actually finished "Welcome to the Happy Club" which I have to master this weekend. While we have "moved on", this tape represents about 3 years worth of Mobius material, and you should still check it out 'cause it's cool. We'll also distribute some "Enter the Prophet"'s (stuff with Scott) soon afterward. Miscellaneous: ************** - BUY A TICKET! - We're looking to record a demo of new material soon...but please hold yer horses - I guess you'll just have to see us play live ;-) - You should buy tickets for "uninitiated" friends, too! - Check out Al's amazing MOBIUS website (after he fixes it...well, I did see it awhile ago) http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/asomlo/ - Did I mention you should buy a ticket? hope to see you all soon, Ira